Sunday 18/10/09 Unemployable bum

Had another great time in Madrid. Its a fantastic place, and my few days break ( booked in july) could not have come at a better time, giving as it did, a nice buffer of distaction to my final few days in NES. The economy seems to be even worse in spain, with plenty of foreclosure signs on buildings, and as my friends tell me, an increasing number of newly house husbands picking up the kids from school.

Thursday was my last day at work. It was a great nine and a half years, and I made it to the finishing line, but in all honesty it was Paul and Dan who carried me over said line. Like many others, I feel like I am on a sort of precipice at the moment, and I’m not sure at all what the future holds. I intend to discipline myself, and catch up with some of the things I have put on the long finger. Even on a medical level, I have not gone to the diabetic clinic for years, and I got a scare on Friday when for the first time in over eight years, I could not clearly read the credits to the film ""Love Happens". It was like watching it in dull 2D, when I am now accustomed to perfect 3D clarity. It scared me, and I immediately went for an eye test. I have no glaucoma or anything serious, but am just slightly under optimum vision, which could be an indication of poor blood sugar control (unquestionably).

Doing all these things going from going to morning medical appointments, physiotherapy clinics, wheelchair repair shop, and occupational therapy is a big job in itself. So when I had a real job, I was not going to be taking half days off all the time. So now I have plenty of time on my side I will hopefully catch up on these things.

I also want to do an on-line course in creative writing. Something I can do at my own pace. But this point I don’t think it would be very feasible to do a full time paid course, as at this stage I find it very difficult to even write! But there are lots of things, that I feel the need to write about. This web site is a great resource for me, and I deeply look forward to all the feedback I get from it, but its NOT an autobiography by any means and anything on this site is carefully vetted by myself. I have a very deep phobia of other people doing the talking for me, so while I’ve got the use of my two fingers I am going to keep on pounding them regardless of what others might think , and even if only, for my personal satisfaction .

Apparently the mother of jesus is appearing in Knock today, and even though I have relatives going down, I think it is absolutely scandalous that, people are casually giving up their time and money to stare at a wall, passing by in the process people who could make much better avail of their time and money. The big question for me is why an apparition is so comforting to some people. Surely this world and all of its problems, would be considerably lessened if people just put a bit more attention and focus into this life, rather than feathering their nest in some supposed parallel universe .

I’m just back from swimming, and it sure does feel good to get out of the chair and stretch , now I have time on my side, I must discipline myself to get on the floor and exercise, at least every second day Spending a lot of time on You Tube (thanks again to o2 for finally bringing broadband to these sticks) and I have come across two videos about FA which are very much of the "if life gives you lemons make lemonade" stomach tossing ilk. To me, that is the kind of condescending dismissive claptrap, usually perpetuated by mentally defective cult members.

Am resolved to read more, and not just of the unremmitting abuse genre. Finished off "Broken" by Shy Keenan in spain, usually in the garden of the residence where I stayed for accomodation and pa reasons, while waiting on my friends to come and collect me. Am now on "Child of Tibet" while still trying to finish off "The masks of christ", which I have to admit is tough going ; interesting and eye opening on a lot of levels, but definately tough!